16. Est! Est! Est!

Bolsena to Montefiascone

A traveller who succumbed to excessive drinking is said to be buried in the crypts of the church of San Falvino in Montefiascone. The story has been embellished over time, but essentially he was a German bishop who traveled to the Vatican in the 12th century for a meeting with the pope. He sent a prelate ahead of him to scout places which had the best wines. The instructions were that the prelate was to write ‘est’ (Latin for there is) on the door of any establishment that served a decent drop, so that when the bishop passed through he would know where to stop. When the prelate came to an inn in Montefiascone he was so impressed with the wine that he wrote Est! Est! Est! on the door. There were two consequences. One, probably apocryphal, was that the bishop drank himself to death and is buried here.The other, which is true, is the varietal of white wine that is grown here is called Est! Est! Est! and is produced in a confined DOC region of 400 ha. around Montefiascone. it is apparently a mix of Trebbiano and Malvasia-bianca grapes. UNESCO has declared this area an agricultural world heritage zone as well. We will try the wine tonight and let you know if we agree with the prelate.

The walk today was beautiful. We woke to a cool still day, slightly overcast. Perfect walking weather. The route took us up into the hills along the shores of Lake Bolsena, past olive farms and through oak forests, with regular panoramic views across the lake - see opening photo as an example. The lake is 305m above sea level and Montefiascone is 590m, so we had a good starting point. The general trajectory was uphill but it was mostly kind.

We had one interesting detour. On entering a nature reserve we saw a sign to an Etruscan archeological site. No, an etruscan is not a kind of shellfish as I first thought. They are an entire civilisation. The level of my ignorance has astonished me on this trip. Anyway, Grant saw that there was a way for us to detour and still catch up with the via Francigena route, so we climbed up into a surreal world of building ruins built in 500 to 600BC by the Etruscan people who were resident here until the Romans defeated them. They used a drystone building technique (no mortar) and a whole lot of it was just standing there in the olive trees and long grass, largely forgotten.

Montefiascone was also Etruscan, then Roman and then tossed about by various invaders until it became a summer retreat for a series of popes. It’s positioned on top of a high hill with views all the way back North to Radicofani and South to the mountains around Rome. It was almost deserted when we arrived; in fact the area where our hotel is, in the old city, was literally deserted. We walked up to the Rocca dei Papi, a papal fortress built in the 12th century which gave us amazing views across the whole region. Only a couple of other people there and one was our English friend :) A wander around the spectacular cathedral and a beer at a very quirky cafe with the bartender dancing and singing to Creedence Clearwater Revival has been our Montefiascone experience thus far. We booked a trattoria tonight and were assured that the people would appear in the streets by around 7pm. They appeared at 9pm as we were heading home, but they were there in number, young, gorgeous and full of life.

There is a big difference between the small cities of Lazio and those in Florence. Because there are so few tourists in Lazio district they operate in normal Italian time. This means that everything shuts between.1.30pm and 3.30pm (other than restaurants). This includes museums and churches. They then stay open until around 7pm which means the night life doesn’t really start until 8. All lovely unless you’ve walked 20km and will walk the same tomorrow.

I was thinking today as I was walking, about the phrase people use, ‘he/she completes me’. It’s meant to be a romantic and positive thing, but I think it is actually a trap, particularly at my stage in life. We tend to partner with people who have strengths we don’t have, and they in turn are attracted to what is different in us. That works well at the start and can work well with having children and parenting as there is such a variety of input, but once the kids have gone, and retirement has started I think having someone else ‘complete’ you is a potential problem. I agree with Anne Morrow Lindberg that this is our chance to take the time to become whole people again and meet each other again as complete individuals, not parts. To me this gives a whole new, very positive purpose to the years ahead and the quality of my relationships. The challenge is to ask yourself where you are incomplete and then how you can address this.

A simple starting point is a practical one. I have noticed that friends and family who are older than me have very much become set in their roles. She does the cooking for example and he looks after the money. I’ve also noticed that often when one of the couple retires they might start taking over many of the other person’s roles. Slowly over time that person does less and less and loses confidence. It may be basic things like knowing how to use a computer or always letting the other person drive/ navigate/ make financial decisions. I’ve seen dynamic, intelligent people become shells of their former selves as they lose confidence and control in their lives.

You might like to think on this too and ask yourself what you have handed over or never learned to do and what would happen if you were suddenly alone. Also, are you allowing your partner to grow in confidence or are you taking over? I know I have to overcome my disinterest in finances and be far more engaged in understanding what we are doing. I also know that I hand over to Grant for many other things just because it’s easier - for example navigating around foreign cities. My radar is up for that now as I realise how

quickly my confidence has been lost. There are also many things I know I should encourage him to become more skilled in, even though I currently tend to do them, as it is in both our interests to be an equal team of whole people, not incomplete matching halves. Lots to ponder there. Good thing I have time!

Tomorrow we walk to Viterbo, the capital of this Viterbo region of Lazio. Rain forecast in the morning so we will have a later departure and hope to dodge the worst of it. Here is a picture of Montefiascone as we approached it this afternoon, with the beautiful cathedral dome peeping over the top. I’ve also added a picture of the cathedral cos I like it.

Speak to you tomorrow,

Love Marie